


Alone

by HotDoggo



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Almost mind broken, Angst, Angst with a happy ending though, F/M, Suicidal Thoughts, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why is everything I that I think of depressing?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 12:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12912219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotDoggo/pseuds/HotDoggo
Summary: Lucida is done with her classmates always taunting her. She can't take it anymore. No one even likes her. She doesn't want to suffer another day with their messed up ways, so she takes it to the roof.What she doesn't know is that one person actually cares about her.





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like Iceland is out of character. Oh well.

**_“Live in the moment.”_ **

_It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters at all. It’s just this moment. I feel special for once in my life._

   I sat down in my seat just a second before I could be marked tardy. I sighed, and stared away from the boards, and out to the window, daydreaming. The teacher was glaring at me, I could tell, even if I wasn’t looking at her. I always arrived a second before she calls my name, Lucida, or Lu for short I guess. Not that it mattered anyways.

   One day, someone would look towards me in a good way. One day, someone will become my friend. I thought. It was my dream. Even just one friend was okay. Even if they were pretending to be my friend. Even if they were just being nice to me so they could use me. I wouldn't care. I was desperate. I didn’t want to be alone anymore.

   No one approached me. _Was it because of how antisocial I was?_ No. I tried approaching people but all they did was laugh. _Was it the way I styled my hair then?_ No. I stopped having my bangs clipped to the side with a golden clip. Still, no one approached me. _Maybe it's my clothes._ No. I stopped wearing my signature navy blue shirt, the belt that went around it and parts of my blue leggings, but I was still called a freak. Sooner or later, I gave up trying.

   The bell rang quicker than I thought. Maybe I daydreamed too much. I didn’t know. It didn’t matter anyways. I packed up my stuff and hurried out of the door as fast as I could. I seriously didn’t want to deal with them.

    _Was it lunch already?_ I couldn’t tell. After all, I never check the time. It was a waste of time to me. Even though it was only a few seconds, time was the most important thing in the world. It justifies what happens. Being at the wrong place at the wrong time could be lethal.

   It felt like the time was flying by quicker and quicker. I didn’t care though. No one cared about me, so why should I care about anything anymore? Not even my parents cared about me. Hell, I sent letters out to people as a child because I was so alone, and guess what, they all thought I was weird. They thought I was creepy. All I wanted was to be friends with them but no, of course I couldn't. I sighed.

   By now, it had to have been near the end of the day. I stood up and left the classroom abruptly. I could hear my teacher yell at me, but I didn't care. They only did this for their paycheck. For money.

 

...

 

Up.

Up.

Up.

Up.

Up.

   The more stairs I climbed, the higher I went. The higher the better. I glanced behind me. Not a single person chased after me. _Was my life really this worthless to everyone?_ I sighed and kept running up the stairs. It all felt so surreal. I’ve thought about this but I didn't know if I should really do this. I came to a halt.

   I thought back to all the times someone had almost stabbed me. All the times they slapped me, humiliated me, beat me, cut me, rip off my nails even. It was all for a stupid little game that they played. To break my mind. That's what I heard anyways. They won’t get to break my mind if I died. This was better. I convinced myself.

   I continued to run until I reached the roof. I ran up to the very edge of the roof, spreaded out my arms as far as I could and-

-

   I stared at the empty seat in front of me. Where did she go? You see, I was always the quiet kid who sat at the back and stared out the window. Like one of those clichés. People knew me as “Emil, the edgy kid who looks out the window” but I paid no attention to that. Every day, all my attention was focused towards her. I never knew her name but I knew that she didn't deserve what she suffered. Everyone somehow hated her, I was the exact opposite. She was beautiful in every aspect, at least to me. I never hated her, in fact, I actually fell for her. Hard. And nothing could change these feelings.

   At some point, I had made an excuse to use the washroom. Instead, I went searching for her. I searched everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I had the balls to go and search the girls washroom. I couldn't find her anywhere, and going back to class was asking to be yelled at by the teacher since I was gone for an extremely long time. Looking around, I decided to look around, again, but this time, I’ll check the roof.

   No one went on the roof, only I did, and that was only when it was after school and during lunch. That's it. No one even knew the roof was accessible so I didn't bother to check. I raced up the stairs, the air splattering off my face the faster I run. When I reached the door to the roof, I twisted it open with one smooth move. My eyes widened.

-

   I turned around from the sudden sound of the door opening to find myself staring at someone. My hair blew in the wind gracefully towards the side. Not a single strand of hair blocked my vision. A silver haired boy stood, inhaling quickly. His face covered in sweat. His hair in between the lines of neat and messy. We stared at eachother for a good moment, mesmerized in each other's eyes before I turned away. His was a magnificent shade of violet. I was dumbfounded but kept my cool and acted as if I was only gazing at the bright blue sky, glancing at the clouds, spotting shapes in the clouds here and there. It made sense since I was always alone with nobody to talk to. No one paid attention to me, well, until now. Then it hit me. I wasn't alone right now. Someone paid attention to my existence. To me.

   “Who are you?” Was the first question that the boy asked.

   I brushed my hand through my silver strands casually, not showing any facial expression before answering, “Lucida. And you?”

   “Emil.” He responded. A few awkward minutes passed by as we say nothing. I stared at the sky and he stared at me. This could've kept going on if he didn't interrupt the silence. “Were you going to attempt to… well…” His words got stuck in his throat.

   I hesitated before answering him, “Yeah, because apparently, this is all just a game to them.” I was completely honest to him, because after this conversation, I will be erased.

   Confused, he slowly asked, “Them?”

   “All my classmates. From what I've eavesdropped, they want to break my mind like it's some kind of game. First to accomplish that wins.” I explained. “Fun game, right?”

   “Why would they do something like that?”

   “Don't ask me, ask them.” I took a deep breath. “Plus, you're the first to acknowledge my existence.” I flashed a small, rare smile. “So, thank you, for a happy moment at the end of my life.” Swiftly, I turned around and stretched my arms out towards the side.

   “Wait!” He shouted.

   Looking over my shoulders, I questioned, “What is it?”

   “Don't do it.”

   “Do what?” I stuck my right foot over the edge of the school, letting it sit there like it's floating. “This?”

   “Yeah, please. Step down from there.”

   “Why should I?” My voice was raising. “No one until now has recognized my existence until now. Everyone treats me like a fucking freak. I don't even know why they're treating me like that, and I will never know! No one listens to me when I say stop, so why the fuck should I listen to you right now?”

   “Because,” I could tell he was going to say something that was hard to say. “I-I” He took a deep breath before letting it out. “like you.” He whispered.

   “What?”

   “I like you!” He practically shouted.

   I was stunned for a moment before adding with, “And how should I know that you aren't bluffing, saying something just so you can taunt me more. Beat me more.”

   “Because,” Emil hesitated a bit before walking towards me. He stood on the edge, right beside me, holding out his arms, just like me. “I’ll jump with you.”

   Shocked, I stumbled back onto the inner parts of the roof, landing on my butt. “I’m not responsible for your life.” I hesitantly said.

   “That's fine, but I won't leave you alone until you believe me.” Emil safely stepped down and pulled me up from the ground. My legs wobbled.

   My eyes were blurred and my face felt wet. We were inches apart and I did something I would’ve never thought to do. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his shoulder and started sobbing. I thought I would feel humiliated or angry at myself. It was the opposite. It was really calming. Normally, this would've been a terrible idea, but right now, this felt like something that was necessary. And somehow, I felt like I could trust him.

   Emil started comforting me. I pulled away when I thought it was enough. My legs couldn't hold me up so I suddenly dropped to the floor. Leftover tears dripped to the ground and I kept my face downwards, ashamed to face him.

   This moment was a mix of happiness and sadness. Every part that I held back had came out. But I still smiled. Because I wasn't by myself anymore.

_**I wasn't alone anymore.** _

**Author's Note:**

> WHY IS EVERY SINGLE THING I THINK OF DEPRESSING IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER


End file.
